Karma is a Bitch!!

Monday, March 14

And apparently I have pissed her off.   Somehow, somewhere, sometime I have done something that karma is now taking it out on me. 

A year ago if you told me my life would be like this, I would have laughed at you and said no way.  I never thought I would be a single mom at 40, unemployed and living with my parents.  It gets harder everyday to get myself out of bed.   And it is getting harder to put on a happy face for my family and friends.  And because I don't want my girls to see my upset, it takes what little strength I have anymore to make it through a day when they are with me.  Is it bad that I can't wait till they go to their dads?  See....this is where I am at this moment.

I am sorry that my blog has turned into one pathetic vent after another.

5 comments:

Dark Mother on March 14, 2011 9:55 AM said...

No I don't think it's bad that you crave that time away from the kids. Depression is exhausting, add onto that taking care of little ones and it's bound to happen that one just can't take it. I hope things turn around for you soon.

Aine on March 14, 2011 10:07 AM said...

I agree. Give yourself a break - this is a very trying time for you. Divorce alone is extremely traumatic never mind the unemployment and single motherhood - and living with the parents - Oy!

I agree that Karma is at play here, but it's not a punishment, just an overly forceful push into the next stage of your life. Try to look at it as a "wiping the slate clean" time and look forward to what your new life will be. This is not your new life - it's transitional, and as with all transitions it is difficult, especially when you have others depending on you. I hope that this time is short lived and you look back on it later as a necessary bridge to your new happier life.

The StarFire Witch / Bald Girl on March 14, 2011 3:33 PM said...

Just keep believing. Everyone goes through depressions (well everyone I Know) and rise back up again. I have faith that you can to. Don't give up hope. Something excellent will come your way one day soon!
And until then I will send positive thoughts your way!

SilverFox on March 14, 2011 7:00 PM said...

Don't apologize hun! You have every right to feel how you feel and to express it as such! I am sure things will get better for you soon. I very much agree with Aine, as this is a push in a new, and better, direction for you and your girls. <3

cargillwitch on March 14, 2011 8:26 PM said...

I for one like to hear the real deal- both sides of the coin.
No right or wrong with feelings. Let them come , feel them, let them go.
My divorce 9 years ago in my mid thirties with four children was by far the worst thing I have gone through in my life. You have every reason to want to spend time gathering strength for what will be next.

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